Max is two today!

First of all, I'd like to say that I can't believe we made it this far! Max has come out stronger and smarter and better (see the pictures from our fun museum trip). The only problem is that we're kind of exactly where we were, scared and on the verge of a transplant. When I imagined Max at two years old, I thought of bone issues and surgeries, not another transplant. I can't believe we're still here, but I'm grateful that Max is still here. So my feelings today are mixed and I wish I was feeling pure joy. We did everything we could to make it a fun day for everyone, but somehow I just wasn't feeling the happiness I imagined I would feel. We went to the preschooler area in the local art museum where Max was busy having fun and we even got to go with Roman! It was fun and hopefully we can come back again soon. After Max's nap we ate and watched some cartoons. When Roman came home we went to Toys R Us to pick out a toy. All very fun and Max loved every minute except when we were leaving. That he didn't like at all. Maybe I'm just tired from the failed IVF attempt that sent me to the hospital, or maybe it was this weekend in the hospital with Max that did it. I'm exhausted. I'm just tired. It's like everything that can go wrong does. Even the car ride home from the hospital took 3 hours instead of the usual 20 minutes. Are you kidding me? How can everything go wrong? Max's engraftment today could've come back at 14% or 15%, it came back as 12%. I know that the numbers are essentially the same, but couldn't it be at the higher end today? Anyways, tomorrow we have a difficult day ahead of us. Max and I have to go to Cincinnati for ERT and a meeting with Dr. Davies, hopefully everything goes smoothly. They changed Max's ERT rate so that it goes in over 3 hours instead of 4, which should help a lot. Hopefully we can catch a break and at least have a restful Saturday and Sunday so that I can rest up for the coming weeks. So I can feel finally less tired and more like myself again. As always, we're praying for a higher engraftment, but I'm getting tired of doing that too. It doesn't seem to be doing any good for us at all. I'm sorry for such a depressing update on my baby's birthday, but it is what it is. I wish it was better.